Why Your Child Keeps Throwing Things (and What It Says About Their Development)
- Emma Christmas
- Nov 1
- 3 min read
“Why does my child keep throwing things?”
Hands up if you’ve ever Googled “why does my child throw things?” or “how do I stop my toddler throwing?” You’re not alone - almost every parent goes through this phase. While it can be frustrating to watch your child fling blocks or food across the room, the truth is that throwing is a completely normal part of child development.
Let’s break down why children throw things and how you can respond in ways that help them learn self-control and communication.
Why Children Throw Things
It can be about frustration
When children don’t yet have the vocabulary to express feelings, they use actions instead. Throwing can be a form of communication - their way of saying “I’m angry,” “I’m done,” or “Pay attention to me.”
Limited body control
Early in child development, fine motor control isn’t fully established. Toddlers and pre-schoolers literally don’t yet have the coordination to place things down gently - so a 'throw' can be more clumsy than intentional.
It’s developmental
Throwing is not just chaos; it’s practice. The same coordination skills that make throwing possible today will support writing, drawing and sports in later years.
Cause and effect
Children are little scientists. Throwing helps them explore gravity, motion and spatial awareness. Every crash and bounce teaches them something about how the world works.
Getting your attention
Sometimes, it’s simply about you. Your reaction - even if it’s negative - can reinforce the behaviour. Children are wired to seek connection and they quickly learn that throwing gets a big response.
How to Handle Child Throwing (Without Losing Your Cool)
Understand why
Throwing isn’t always ‘bad behaviour’ - it’s normal toddler behaviour. Understanding the why behind it helps you respond calmly and constructively.
Remember it’s not personal
Unless your toddler is deliberately aiming for your head with a plate (in which case, duck first!), there’s usually no malice. Stay as calm as you can - remember what I said about them wanting your attention?
Offer alternatives
Give your child safe opportunities to throw. Try:
“We can throw balls outside.”
“Let’s toss beanbags into a basket.”
When you create outlets for this instinct, you teach boundaries without suppressing curiosity. It also avoids entering into a battle with them where they continue to launch objects at you.
Redirect it
Use clear, respectful language:
“I can’t let you throw blocks at your brother. Let’s build a tower instead.” This approach sets limits while guiding them toward a better choice.
Or, if that doesn’t work, “I can’t let you throw blocks at your brother. I am going to put the blocks away to keep everyone safe.”
Model the behaviour you want to see
Children copy what they see, not what they’re told. Demonstrate gentle handling:
“I’m putting the car on the floor so it doesn’t break.” Your example teaches more than a thousand “don’t throw that” reminders ever could.
Narrate it
If the throwing stems from frustration, label the feeling:
“You’re showing me you’re finished with that food.”
“You’re feeling cross - let’s find another way.”
Naming emotions helps young children build emotional literacy.
Be patient
Every phase in parenting eventually passes. One day, your little thrower will be calmly stacking blocks instead. If someone hurled a truck at you today, take a deep breath - this too shall pass.
When we understand the developmental reasons behind this behaviour, we can respond with empathy rather than frustration. By offering boundaries, alternatives and connection, you’ll help your child move through this stage feeling understood - and a little less likely to throw their dinner plate tomorrow.
Hi, I’m Emma, Early Childhood Expert and founder of Everyday. My goal is simple: help parents understand their children better so every stage feels a little brighter. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the extraordinary - it’s about the everyday.
Comments