5 Proven Techniques to Get Your Child to Listen Effectively
- Emma Christmas
- Sep 8
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 23
As parents, we often face moments when it feels like our children have selective listening. Whether amid the chaos of getting ready for school or trying to convey something important, it can be extremely frustrating when they don't pay attention. Fortunately, there are effective techniques to bridge the communication gap and ensure your child hears and understands you. Here are five practical tips to enhance your child's listening skills.
Check They Can Hear You
Before giving instructions, check that your child can actually hear you. Background noise, distractions or their focus on something else can impact their ability to listen.
Start by gaining their attention. Call their name and wait for their response. Ask 'can you hear me?' before continuing with your request or instruction. Avoid saying their name repeatedly. This can make our voices become background noise and also teaches a child that they don't need to pay attention when they are called. Don't force eye contact if your child isn't comfortable, they can hear without looking.
Sing the Instruction
Because singsong affects our brains differently, children often hear our instructions better when we sing them. This doesn't mean you need to become an opera singer or the next best songwriter, but trying singing your instruction if your child hasn't listened to your spoken instruction. This playful approach can make the chore seem less tedious and increase compliance.
Use Fewer Words
Simplicity is key, particularly from younger children. When giving instructions, use clear and concise language.
Instead of lengthy directions like, "Can you please go to your room, pick up your clothes and put them in the laundry basket?" opt for "Clothes in the basket please." Short phrases minimise confusion, help your child process instructions faster and understand exactly what they need to do.
Stay Calm
Children don't listen better because we shout. If you feel yourself getting frustrated or raising your voice, take a moment to breathe deeply and centre yourself. A calm tone naturally conveys authority and reassurance, making it easier for them to absorb what you are saying. Remember, studies show that children often mirror their parents' emotional states, so your calmness can promote a more positive communication environment.
Check for Understanding
After you give instructions, ensure your child understands what you expect from them.
For example, try asking, "Can you tell me what you need to do?" or "What will you do first?" If they are unsure, take time to clarify your expectations before leaving them to get on with it. As adults we can assume our children are ignoring us out of rudeness or disrespect. Often, our children haven't understood what they're meant to do or the timescale we are expecting it in.
Final Thoughts
Getting your child to listen effectively can be challenging, but with these techniques, and a bit of patience and consistency, it can become much more manageable.
By implementing these practical strategies, you can create more positive communication and an environment where both you and your child feel heard and valued.
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