Potty Training: A Complete Guide to Knowing When and How to Start

Potty training is a big milestone for both parents and little ones. While it can feel daunting, the good news is that most children get there in their own time - with a little patience, preparation and plenty of encouragement. This guide will help you understand when to begin potty training, how to recognise the signs of readiness and what to do if things don’t go quite to plan.

At What Age Should a Child Be Potty Trained?

There’s no single ‘right’ age to start potty training. Every child develops at their own pace and it’s important not to rush the process. By the age of three, around nine out of ten children are dry most days, although accidents still happen - especially when they’re excited, distracted or upset.

Parents choose to begin potty training at different times for different reasons. Some prefer to start during a period when they’re home more often, making it easier to establish a routine. Others find that warmer weather helps because cleaning and drying clothes becomes simpler. In general, younger children often have more frequent accidents so waiting for readiness can make the whole process quicker and smoother. Choosing when to start potty training is a really individual decision - some children are eager to get into ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’ pants, while others will happily stay in nappies until you encourage something different.

Signs Your Child is Ready for Potty Training

Common signs include:

• Awareness of a wet or dirty nappy. They may tell you they’re wet or ask to be changed.

• Recognising when they’re weeing. They might pause, look down or announce, “I’m doing a wee, Mummy!”

• Longer gaps between wees. If their nappy stays dry for an hour or more (depending on what they’ve been drinking), it may mean they’re developing bladder control.

• Telling you before they wee. This is the clearest sign - they know what’s coming and can communicate it in advance.

• Showing interest in the toilet or potty. They may watch others, ask questions or want to sit on it.

Children usually gain bowel control before full bladder control, so poo accidents can continue for a while even after they seem mostly dry.

How to Prepare for Potty Training

A smooth potty training experience starts with preparation  - not just practical, but emotional too.

Make the potty or seat familiar

Let your child see the potty around the house. Encourage them to sit on it - clothed at first if they prefer. You could initial start sitting on it before a bath or bed so that when you start properly training they’re used to it.

Make potty training a positive thing

Potty-themed books, short videos and positive conversations help normalise and demystify the process. 

Choose your timing

Aim for a calm period with fewer disruptions. Avoid starting during big life changes - such as a new baby, moving house or starting nursery - as these can overwhelm a child’s capacity to learn new skills.

Things That Can Make Potty Training More Difficult

• Pressuring rather than encouraging - try not to get frustrated when they have an accident

• Missing signs your child needs the toilet - potty training takes adult input, learn your child’s signs and offer the potty or remind about the toilet when necessary. 

• Expecting changes too quickly/comparing your child to someone else's - some children do train in a few days but the majority take much longer, by the age of 4 most children are mostly reliably dry during the day. 

• Starting before they’re ready - if they don't yet have bladder control, potty training can be impossible or at the very least, difficult for you and them.

• Inconsistencies between adults/settings - speak to anyone who provides childcare for your children - grandparents, nurseries and childminders all need to be involved and working towards the shared goal. 

What to Do If Potty Training Isn’t Working

Even with preparation, potty training won’t always go smoothly. The most important thing is to stay calm and consistent.

Accidents are completely normal

A few - or even many - accidents don’t mean potty training is failing. Learning any new skill takes practice. Offer reassurance, help them change and move on without making a fuss. If your child is having more accidents than success then it might be worth pausing and trying again in a few months time. 

If your child is distressed, pause

If your child becomes upset, resistant or anxious about using the potty or toilet, it may be a sign they’re not ready yet. Forcing it can make the whole process much harder. Instead, take a break and try again in a few weeks or months when they feel more confident.

Celebrate progress

Notice the small wins - sitting on the potty, telling you they need to go or staying dry longer. Positive reinforcement encourages them far more effectively than pressure.

Potty training doesn’t happen overnight and every child’s journey is unique.

Being responsive to your child's signals, staying patient and keeping expectations realistic will make the process smoother for everyone. Remember: readiness matters more than age, accidents are part of learning, and with time and support, your child will get there. Oh and bed time dryness is a different thing entirely - so don’t panic if your child still needs a pull up overnight. 

Hi, I’m Emma, Early Childhood Expert and founder of Everyday. My goal is simple: help parents understand their children better so every stage feels a little brighter. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the extraordinary; it’s about the everyday.

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