Building Resilience in Children: Why It Matters and How We Can Nurture It

In a world that’s changing faster than ever, one of the most valuable skills we can give our children is resilience - the ability to bounce back, adapt and grow through life’s challenges. While some children seem naturally resilient, resilience is not an inborn trait. It’s a learned set of skills and the good news is that it’s never too late to start building it.

In this blog, we’ll explore what a lack of resilience looks like, why resilience is so important for our children’s wellbeing and practical ways to strengthen it every single day.

What Does a Lack of Resilience Look Like?

Children who struggle with resilience may show signs such as:

• Becoming easily overwhelmed by setbacks

• Avoiding challenges or new experiences

• Giving up quickly when something feels difficult

• Struggling to regulate their emotions

• Showing low tolerance for frustration

• Relying heavily on adults to solve problems

• Feeling anxious about making mistakes

These behaviours don’t mean something is ‘wrong’. They simply indicate that the child needs more tools, time and support to develop coping skills.

Why Resilience Matters

Resilience is essential for:

• Emotional wellbeing - Resilient children are better equipped to manage stress, cope with big feelings and recover from disappointment.

• Learning and academic success - When children feel capable of trying again after setbacks, they become stronger learners and more confident problem-solvers.

• Social development - Resilient children handle conflict, build stronger friendships and navigate social challenges more positively.

• Long-term mental health - Fostering resilience early helps protect children from anxiety, low self-esteem and stress-related difficulties later in life.

It's never too late to start - resilience can be strengthened at any age.

How We Can Build Resilience in Children

Here are powerful, everyday ways parents and caregivers can nurture resilience -starting right now.

Be a Role Model

Children learn by watching. When they see us handle stress calmly, talk through challenges or repair mistakes, they learn those behaviours too.

Try this:

• Narrate your own coping strategies: “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a breath.”

• Show perseverance: “This is tricky, but I’m going to try again.”

Support Healthy Risk-Taking

Resilience grows when children step slightly outside their comfort zones as small risks lead to big confidence gains.

You can:

• Encourage them to try a new activity

• Let them climb a little higher or speak up for themselves

• Avoid rescuing too quickly- let them attempt first

Help Children Understand Their Emotions

Emotional literacy is a foundation of resilience. When children can name their feelings, they can better manage them.

Ways to support this:

• Name emotions for them (“It looks like you’re feeling disappointed.”)

• Validate feelings (“It’s okay to feel upset.”)

• Teach calming strategies like breathing or movement

Promote Problem-Solving

Instead of jumping in with solutions, guide your child to think through challenges.

Ask:

• “What could you try next?”

• “What would happen if…?”

• “Is there another way to look at this?”

Problem-solving fosters independence, confidence and adaptability.

Teach Optimism

Optimism isn’t about ignoring hard things - it’s about believing difficulties can be overcome.

Support optimism by:

• Reframing setbacks (“You didn’t get it yet - but you’re learning.”)

• Highlighting strengths and progress

• Discussing challenges as opportunities

Show Them That Mistakes Are Okay

Mistakes are an essential part of learning - not something to fear.

Help them see mistakes as:

• Normal

• Fixable

• Valuable learning experiences

You might say:

• “Everyone makes mistakes.”

• “What can we learn from this?”

Encourage Gratitude and Delayed Gratification

Practicing gratitude helps children focus on the positive, while delayed gratification builds patience and self-control - both important resilience skills.

You can:

• Start a daily gratitude ritual - we love using our gratitude gem

• Use visual timers to help with waiting

• Celebrate small wins when they delay gratification

It’s Never Too Late to Start

Whether your child is a toddler, a ten year old or somewhere in between, resilience can be strengthened at any age. Every moment of encouragement, every opportunity to try again and every supportive conversation helps shape a more confident, capable and emotionally strong child. By being intentional and patient, we can help our children not just survive life’s challenges - but thrive through them.