How Do I Help my Child With Anger?

Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. However, it can be especially puzzling when it comes to young children. Watching our little ones struggle with intense feelings can be tough and sometimes overwhelming. The good news is that with a bit of understanding and the right strategies, parents can help their children understand and manage these emotions effectively. In this blog post, we will explore the complexities of anger in young children and provide actionable strategies for both parents and children to cope with anger in a healthy manner.

What Triggers Anger in Young Children?

Recognising what triggers anger in young children is key to improving parent-child communication. Various factors can prompt anger, including:

• Frustration: For example, a young child might become furious when they cannot build a structure with blocks despite multiple attempts.

• Misunderstanding: Children may feel ignored or dismissed if their needs or wants are not met.

• Communication struggles: A toddler might have a meltdown because they are unable to express their desire for a specific toy verbally.

• External pressures - difficulties with concentration, friendship issues, a sense of unfairness.

• Changes in routine or environment - major life transitions, like moving or a new sibling.

The Importance of Validating Emotions

Validating a child's feelings is crucial for their emotional growth. Children who feel understood are less likely to express their emotions through anger.

Parents can practice validation by acknowledging their child's feelings with supportive phrases like "I can see you are really upset and I am here for you" or "It is okay to feel angry."

By normalising these emotions, parents communicate that all feelings - both positive and negative - are valid. This practice not only fosters emotional intelligence but also equips children with tools to navigate their feelings without resorting to anger.

Strategies for Managing Anger

1. Teach Deep Breathing Techniques

Introducing deep breathing exercises can help children manage anger effectively. When a child feels angry, guiding them through breathing exercises helps calm their bodies and minds. For example, parents can encourage their child to take a big breath in through their nose and then slowly blow it out as if blowing out birthday candles. This simple technique can shift focus from anger to calming breathing, providing a sense of control. You can download 5 different breathing techniques inside The Parent Hub.

2. Create a Calm Down Corner

Designating a space for children to de-escalate their emotions can be exceptionally beneficial. Create a 'calm corner' in your home filled with soft cushions, soothing toys, and calming visuals. Encourage your child to visit this space when feeling overwhelmed. By using this area for reflection, children can learn to process their feelings better. Over time, they will recognise this place as a safe haven to seek comfort during angry moments. It's important to mention that a calm corner is not the same as a time out - we don't send children there to exclude or punish.

3. Use Storytelling as a Tool

Storytelling can help children relate to emotions and understand constructive coping strategies. Books that address anger or collaboratively creating stories can encourage children to express their feelings safely. For example, if reading a story about a character facing frustration, parents can ask questions such as, "How do you think the character feels and what could they do?" This technique not only fosters discussions around emotions but also helps children articulate their feelings, without the focus being on their own reactions.

4. Set Boundaries and Provide Structure

Children thrive with routine and predictability, which provides them with the confidence to navigate their environment. Setting clear boundaries also minimises anger stemming from uncertainty. For instance, consistent playtimes, snack times and bedtimes help establish security. Research suggests that children who have structured routines are 40% less likely to exhibit behaviour issues related to anger.

5. Encourage Physical Activity

Physical activities channel energy and can greatly assist in managing emotions. Activities such as dancing, playing outside or participating in sports allow children to release pent-up energy positively. Encouraging regular physical play not only contributes to emotional health but also helps develop social skills and teamwork. Engaging in diverse physical activities promotes a balanced lifestyle, crucial for maintaining emotional well-being over time.

Embracing the Parenting Journey

Understanding anger in young children is an important aspect of parenting. By acknowledging triggers, validating emotions and applying effective coping strategies, parents can guide their children toward healthier emotional expression.

Creating an environment where children feel safe sharing their feelings fosters lasting emotional intelligence. Remember, you are not alone on this journey and various resources are available to help navigate these emotional ups and downs.

For more practical tools and strategies, consider joining our Parent Hub, where you can download The Anger Toolkit. This comprehensive guide will offer you additional tips and activities designed to support your child's emotional development.

Adult and child practising deep breathing to reduce angry outbursts.

Embrace the journey of parenting and help your child grow into a resilient and emotionally aware individual!

Hi, I’m Emma, Early Childhood Expert and founder of Everyday. My goal is simple: help parents understand their children better, so every stage feels a little brighter. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the extraordinary - it’s about the everyday.