How to Build Your Child's Confidence in 10 Simple Steps
- Emma Christmas
- Sep 25, 2022
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 14
We all want our children to grow up feeling capable, resilient, and proud of themselves. Yet, it’s common to hear phrases like:
📍 “I can’t do it”
📍 “It’s too hard”
📍 “I’m not very good at that, am I?”
Hearing these words can be tough for any parent. It’s easy to worry: Will they ever believe in themselves? The good news is, confidence isn’t something we’re just born with - it’s a skill we can help our children develop.
Confidence gives kids the courage to try new things, learn from mistakes and handle challenges with resilience. The small steps you take now can have a lasting impact on how they see themselves and their abilities.
10 simple ways to nurture your child’s confidence and help them build a strong sense of self...
Praise Their Efforts
Focus on specific actions, not just results. Try saying things like:
“That was brave when you tried…”
“You must feel so proud of how you did that!”
Praising effort over talent helps children see that their hard work matters - and that they can improve.
Encourage Problem-Solving
Instead of jumping in to solve every problem, ask open-ended questions that give them space to think:
“What do you think we could do next?”
“How might you figure this out?”
Offer help only when they ask. This builds resilience and confidence in their own abilities.
Avoid Negative Labels
Phrases like “you’ll probably find this tricky” can quietly undermine confidence. Instead, focus on growth:
“This might be challenging, but I know you can try your best.”
The words we choose matter - choose ones that empower rather than limit.
Create Opportunities for Success
Start small so your child can experience achievable wins. Celebrating these moments fuels confidence:
Let a toddler zip up their jacket themselves.
Mimic a baby’s babbles and watch their delight.
Even tiny successes build the belief that they can do it. When they believe it, they can achieve it.
Let Them Make Their Own Decisions
Decision making builds independence and self-worth. Start with small choices:
“Do you want to give Grandma a hug or wave goodbye?”
“Which snack would you like today?”
Teaching them about consent - “your body, your choice” - is a great first lesson in self-confidence.
Be a Role Model
Children learn by watching. I know it's not easy, especially if you're not the most confident individual. Think fake it until you make it. Show them what confidence looks like:
Tackle challenges with a positive attitude
Celebrate your own small wins
Show perseverance even when things are hard
Your actions teach them more than words ever could. From around the age of 7 in particular, children learn more from what we do, than what we say.
Let Them Accidentally Overhear You
You know that feeling when you hear something you shouldn’t? We can use that for good. Let your child ‘accidentally’ hear you saying kind things about them and their achievements to someone else.
"Did you see how kind Olivia was today?"
"I have to tell you how proud I was of Arthur today!"
Children internalise these messages and it subtly reinforces self-belief.
Encourage Healthy Risk-Taking
It’s tempting to say 'be careful' all the time - but overprotection can limit growth. Children often know their own limits. Let them explore and take manageable risks:
Climbing a little higher on the playground
Trying a new activity
Learning to test limits safely builds courage and self-assurance.
Play with them
UNICEF states that children who regularly play with their parents are less likely to develop anxiety, depression and aggression. Play strengthens bonds, boosts self esteem and builds confidence.
Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Confidence grows from practice, not instant mastery. Acknowledge effort and progress along the way:
“You’ve improved so much since last time!”
“Look how far you’ve come!”
If your child seems to be losing confidence, approach it with curiosity. Confidence naturally fluctuates as children grow, and understanding the reasons behind changes can help you support them effectively.
Want more confidence-boosting tools? Download our FREE Words of Affirmation eBook - perfect for helping your child feel capable, proud and ready to take on the world!
Building confidence in children isn’t about shielding them from challenges - it’s about guiding, encouraging and celebrating their efforts. With your support, your child can learn to trust their abilities, tackle obstacles and grow into a resilient, self-assured individual.
Hi, I’m Emma - Early Childhood specialist and Mum of 2. My goal is simple: I want to help you understand your children better so every stage feels a little easier.
Comments