4 Year Old Development: Milestones, Behaviour and What to Expect

Every child grows and develops in their own unique way - there’s no single path or perfect timeline. The early years are a time of incredible change and it’s completely normal for children to move through different stages at their own pace. You might notice your child showing skills or behaviours that overlap across several age groups or developing certain abilities earlier or later than expected - that’s all part of their individual journey.

It’s also worth remembering that there can be a big difference between a child who has just turned four and one who is nearly five. Development doesn’t happen in a straight line; it’s full of leaps, pauses and moments of sudden growth.

Children thrive when they feel loved, understood, important and safe - something I have talked about a great deal here. When these foundations are in place, their brains are ready and eager to learn.

In this post, we’ll look at what life is like with a four year old - a stage full of imagination, friendships, questions and growing independence. This isn’t a checklist, but a way to understand and celebrate how your child is growing right now.

What Is Normal Behaviour for a 4 Year Old?

Four year olds are curious, social and increasingly capable of doing things for themselves. Their imagination is vivid, their attention span is growing and they’re beginning to understand routines and time in a simple way.

Typical behaviours may include:

• Developing short-term memory and recalling recent events (“Yesterday we went to Nanna’s”)

• Increased attention span - especially during favourite activities

• Following two- or three-step instructions (i.e go to the toilet, put your coat on and wait by the door)

• Enjoying friendships and starting to show preferences for certain playmates

• Showing impulsive behaviour at times - self-control is still developing

• Engaging in lots of pretend and role play (superheroes, parents, story characters)

• Beginning to understand parts of the day - morning, after lunch, bedtime

• Mostly dry during the day, though night-time dryness varies

💡 Tip: Four-year-olds love routine and predictability. Gentle reminders and consistent boundaries help them feel safe and confident.

Communication and Language Development at 4 Years Old

At this age, language skills expand rapidly. Children are beginning to use more complex sentences and enjoy sharing stories, ideas and even jokes.

You might notice your 4-year-old:

• Using sentences of 4–6 words (“I want to play with cars”)

• Linking ideas with words like because, and, or (“I like sweets because they make my tongue fizzy”)

• Using past and future tense correctly (“I went to the shop” “I’m going to the park”)

• Asking and answering ‘why’ questions

• Retelling short stories or describing events in order

✨ Tip: Encourage conversation by asking open-ended questions (“What did you like best about today?”) and showing genuine interest in their answers.

Personal, Social and Emotional Development

Four year olds are learning how to cooperate, share and manage emotions within friendships. Their sense of empathy is emerging and they’re beginning to navigate social rules through play - although adult support may sometimes be required.

At this age, children often:

• Enjoy both independent and group play

• Begin to take turns and share with guidance

• Participate in imaginative and pretend play with friends (I’m the Mummy, You’re the Daddy!)

• Experiment with different roles (“I’m the teacher!” “You’re the Gruffalo!”)

• Start to negotiate conflicts in play, though still need adult support (We could both play with the cars!)

• Show pride in achievements and may seek praise or reassurance

💡 Tip: Talk about feelings and problem-solving in simple ways (“You both wanted the car - how could we take turns?”). This builds empathy and emotional awareness.

Physical Development

Four year olds are becoming more coordinated and confident in their movements. Their fine motor skills are improving too, helping with early writing and self-care.

You might see your child:

• Running, hopping, climbing and balancing with growing skill

• Throwing, catching and kicking balls with coordination

• Managing zips, buttons and dressing more independently

• Holding pencils or crayons with better control

• Enjoying movement games, dancing and obstacle play

✨ Tip: Offer plenty of outdoor play and creative activities - climbing, painting and building all support motor skills and concentration.

Key Takeaways for Parents

• Four year olds are full of energy, imagination and curiosity.

• Their friendships and language skills are blossoming.

• Attention and memory are improving, but impulsivity is still normal.

• Pretend play and conversation are key to emotional and social growth.

• Celebrate progress, not perfection - each child develops at their own pace.

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Hi, I’m Emma, Early Childhood Expert and founder of Everyday. My goal is simple: help parents understand their children better, so connection deepens, guidance becomes clearer and every stage feels a little brighter. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the extraordinary - it’s about the everyday.